Have you heard the latest dirt on Guns N' Roses? It seems that Axl Foley ... umm, I'm sorry ... Axl Rose and his anonymous bandmates canceled a show in Portland, Maine, this week after state officials told them they couldn't drink alcohol on stage.

The band usually likes to swill some beer, wine and Jagermeister during their concerts, but fire marshals were concerned over nearby stage pyrotechnics. A statement from Rose read: "I agree with, and ultimately take responsibility for, the end decision not to jeopardize the safety of the fans, the crews, the bands and myself as a result of the methods of these particularly draconian authorities."

My guess is the band didn't really want to play at all. In fact, I'm surprised their tour is still continuing. Usually the over/under on GNR tours is 10 days. When they played Tampa last month, the band pulled all the media credentials on the day of the show in an effort to keep the press from reviewing the show. Then they didn't take the stage until after midnight. Nice, Axl.

5 reasons Guns N' Roses should call it quits:
5. Their new album, Chinese Democracy, will arrive in stores about the same time democracy will arrive in China.
4. With all that plastic surgery, Axl is looking more like Danny Bonaduce every day.
3. Can't play without drinking? Here's how it works. Let the fans drink. The musicians drink then play. Unless you're Bon Scott, and we all saw how well that worked out.
2. Good timing to form a rap/rock act with Kevin Federline.
1. Jagermeister? At your age, Axl? And people say I'm stuck in the 80s.

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