Did the headline scare you? It's just a satire from The Spoof, a U.K. website with a sense of humor strong enough to rekindle the war between the motherland and the colonies.

The website "quotes" U2's Bono saying: "Paris ... is a beacon of light and hope to all ugly, fat, boring, lifeless sacks of meat that drag their unworthy, filth ridden carcases through their mundane lives on a daily basis. ...  If she goes down man, that's it for me, I am just gonna top myself, so will Adam and the boys."

By the way ... U2's Bono -- aka Paul Hewson -- is 47 years old today.

FIVE THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT BONO:

• Bono says seeing Monty Python's "The Secret Policeman's Ball" in 1979 was his inspiration to start in with charity work.
• With his two daughters' help, Bono illustrated a children's book -- "Peter and the Wolf" -- in 2003. Sales of the book benefited the Irish Hospice Foundation.
• Bono has said his favorite U2 song is "Stay (Farway, So Close!)."
• He is the only person in history to be nominated for an Academy Award, Golden Globe, Grammy, and Nobel Peace Prize.
• Regarding his famous stage name, it's said he was nicknamed "Bono Vox" -- the name of a hearing aid store in Dublin -- because he sang loud enough for deaf people to hear him.

(Sources: IMDB.com, TV.com, U2.com)