If Michael Jackson wasn't the creepiest human on the planet, his 49th birthday would probably be a pay-per-view event. Sadly, it's just an excuse to post some jokes found on the Internet...

Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy !!

Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!

Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalog.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?
A: One is made out of plastic and is dangerous for kids to play with and one is used to carry groceries.

LYRIC QUIZ: Can you name these Michael Jackson songs?
1. "I've learned that love needs expression. But I learned too late."
2. "Just put your trust in my heart. And meet me in paradise."
3. "There was a time I used to say girl I need you. But who is sorry now."
4. "I think I told you, I'm a lover not a fighter."
5. "A lot of people misunderstand me. That's because they don't know me at all."