Rarely do you find a weekly magazine that panders to the 80s nation, but this week a small door in the space-time continuum opened. Entertainment Weekly has a dead-on fun piece comparing 80s classics "Pretty in Pink" with "Sixteen Candles." (Click here to read it.)

Writer Dalton Ross makes the argument -- and a damn fine one -- that "Sixteen Candles" is the superior teen flick.  And he doesn't just fling around a couple cute movie quotes and shut the door. Ross breaks down every angle in true Stuck in the 80s fashion. For example:

Farmer Ted (Anthony Michael Hall) vs. Duckie (Jon Cryer): Duckie is a sympathetic character, he writes, but "[Hall] is responsible for no less than a hundred classic moments," from charging to see panties, hijacking the prom queen to his mastery of making a martini.

Jake Ryan vs. Blane: Andrew McCarthy's Blane "has no backbone, dresses lame, and has an even lamer haircut." Meanwhile Jake Ryan (played by the sadly retired Michael Schoeffling) is everything a girl should want. "Even I have a bit of a man crush on the dude," Ross gushes.

Thompson Twins vs. OMD: Here, I think Ross goes too far, proclaiming "If You Were Here" by the Twins as the superior movie-ending music. Bah! "If You Leave" is one of the true classic tunes of the 80s movie soundtracks (easily tied for first with "Don't You Forget About Me" from Breakfast Club.)

But Ross's heart is in the right place. Now, if he'll just go on the record proclaiming "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" as the ultimate John Hughes movie, we're all set.