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Bucs star loves 'Teen Wolf' way too much
In the land of Unlikely '80s News, we have this: Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive end Greg White has legally changed his name to ... Stylez G. White.
To answer the obvious question -- why!?! -- White told the Associated Press that he no longer liked his own name, but really liked the name Michael J. Fox's best friend in the 1985 movie Teen Wolf.
Rupert "Stiles" Stilinski was played by Jerry Levine. Though Levine also appeared in '80s flicks such as Iron Eagle, Casual Sex and Born on the Fourth of July, he is probably better know today for his directing talents, having lent his skills to TV's Monk, Everybody Hates Chris and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
But never mind all that. Here's the important question: If you could legally change your name to that of an '80s movie character, which would you choose?
Here are some obvious candidates:
BENDER: Ah yes, Judd Nelson's character in 1985's The Breakfast Club. Maybe then you'd figure out the end of his infamous joke, "Naked blond walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a 2-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says ..."
MONTY or MELLON: Pick between Rodney Dangerfield's monikers in either Easy Money or Back to School. Either way, your character ended up a millionaire.
BLANE: Sure, Andrew McCarthy's name in Pretty in Pink sounds more like a major appliance, but that's not the point, is it? ... Or is it? Well, he dressed nice anyway.
LACEY UNDERALL: So with that name, you think maybe they were trying to typecast Cindy Morgan in 1980's Caddyshack? "Would you like to tie me up with some of your ties, Ty?"
APOLLONIA: Gotta love 1984's Purple Rain. What other flick would turn Prince into "The Kid"? Morris Day into "Morris"? And of course, Apollonia Kotero into just ... "Apollonia"? Just stay away from Lake Minnetonka.
Go ahead and pick your own '80s character name. (I'm leaning toward Optimus Prime myself.)
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Relive the '80s music, movies and culture with Tampa Bay Times entertainment news editor Steve Spears. A teen during the greatest decade ever, Steve is obsessed with everything from Duran Duran to Journey, John Hughes to John Cusack, and parachute pants to Reaganomics.
E-mail Steve Spears:
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