When I first saw this on the Internet this morning, my heart swelled with joy, watery fowl sang out from Lake Itopia, and I heard the lush orchestration of the Star Wars cantina band playing faintly over a majestic sunrise.

Dream Authentics is peddling one of the most grandiose toys -- nay, not a toy ... a lifestyle -- that any '80s fan could possibly acquire. Like the holy grail itself, it cannot be saddled with a formal name. So here we'll just call it The Ultimate Tabletop Arcade Machine and Reason For Living.

It plays more 200 classic arcade games including Asteroids, Centipede, Tempest, Pac-Man, Defender, Space Invaders and my personal favorite -- Great Swordsman (also my nickname in college). And of course, it'd be the signature addition to the '80s redecoration effort at the Spears Lair.

Sadly, the $2,500 price tag conspires to keep me from fulfilling my destiny. But if selling my Buck Rogers in the 25th Century lunchbox and Battlestar Galactica trading cards gets me any closer to earning the required green, then so be it.