There's a killer bar in New Orleans, where I'm spending a short vacation this weekend, called the Bourbon Blues Club. BBC for short. You'd think with a name like that, they'd play blues music and serve bourbon.

Well, the bourbon is there. Three-for-one drinks all day. But instead of blues music, it's '80s music! Thank you, NOLA. I knew you'd never leave me, let me down and de-friend me on Facebook!

So for the first 20 hours of our time in the city, my friend "Bad Andy" and I have consumed in order: a pitcher of Abita beer, two dozen raw oysters, "boo" fries (french fries covered in american cheese and roast beef residue gravy), crawdad puppies, another pitcher of Abita, four shots of Jagermeister, two Lucky Dogs, six whiskey and diet cokes and approximately 24 sliders and an order of chili fries from Krystals.

Whoops. Small error. That was in the first 5 hours, not 20 hours.

Oh, did I mention there's a swingers convention in town? So tonight calls for more '80s music as Bad Andy and I try to parlay my Stuck in the '80s schtick into something more tangible. "Hey baby. Wanna hear what Rick Springfield says about his role in 'Hard to Hold'?"

Yeah. We're doomed.