The key to happiness in life for a true '80s addict is finding a romantic partner who can appreciate the dual pleasures of 1981's Excalibur.

1) It has killer battle scenes mixed in with deliriously cheesy and quotable dialog. My favorite: "Behold! The Sword of Power! Excalibur! Forged when the world was young, and bird and beast and flower were one with man, and death was but a dream!"

2) It has some white-hot erotic love scenes. (Who needs protection when you have to do it while wearing a suit of armor?) And no, I'm  not talking about Arthur and Guenevere. His BFF Lancelot scored the best sex scene. (Followed of course with having a sword plunged through his hip, but we all make sacrifices for good nook-nook.)

But where do Lancelot and Guenevere rank on today's list? (Seriously, could I be more obscure with this topic? I doth think not.)

TOP 5 HOTTEST COUPLES FROM '80s PERIOD FLICKS:

5. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ART (1981): Harrison Ford and Karen Allen ("Indy" and "Marion") don't have any epic love scenes, but there's a kinky glint in Indy's eye when he sees Marion tied to the post. What? What did we say? Okay, it was just love. Happy now? [Trailer]

4. DIRTY DANCING (19887): Jennifer Grey and the late, great Patrick Swayze ("Baby" and "Johnny Castle") would be higher on the list, but they annoyed each other off screen and that shatters the image for us.

3. DANGEROUS LIAISONS (1988): John Malkovich ("Vicomte Sébastien de Valmont") wasn't especially hunky but Michelle Pfeiffer ("Madame de Tourvel") and their mutual chemistry was the reason French kissing was invented. [Trailer]

2. THE YEAR OF LIVING DANGEROUSLY (1982): Ah-ha! You forgot about this movie, didn't you. Big mistake. Mel Gibson ("Guy Hamilton") and Sigourney Weaver ("Jill Bryant") heat up Jakarta in 1965, long before either of the actors became a punchline in Hollywood. [Trailer]

1. EXCALIBUR (1981): Now, once more, I must ride with my knights to defend what was, and the dream of what could be: an action-adventure fantasy flick with hot sex scenes! Nicholas Clay as the hunk-a-licious Lancelot and Cherie Lunghi as the gleefully promiscuous Guenevere. They indulged their forbidden love ... and brought down a kingdom! [Trailer]

Just missed the list: Somewhere in Time (technically not a period piece since it involved time travel); A Room With a View (because nobody really remembers seeing this); The French Lieutenant's Woman (ditto); Full Metal Jacket (the Vietnamese girl did offer to "love you long time" but Private Joker's heart wasn't into it.)