Angus vs. Axl: High-voltage rock and roll wins
Guns N' Roses vs. AC/DC. It's no contest. Sorta like the Americans' performance in any Winter Olympics event ... a lot of whoo-ha, some chest-thumping and then a monumental collapse. Stuck in the 80s co-host and Times pop music critic Sean Daly is pairing off the bands in a "battle royale" on his blog. But we all know it's no contest. But just for the sake of argument, let us 80s addicts play along.
Category 1 - Name of bands: All heavy metal and hard rock bands have nonsensical names that could mean a half dozen different things. Antichrist Devil-child for our AC/DC? Or just something a band member found on the side of a sewing machine. Edge: Draw.
Category 2 - Ability to party: AC/DC is old school. A case of whiskey here, a few six-packs of beer after the show, and they're good to go. (Bon Scott, their first lead singer, died at age 33 from alcohol poisoning.) As for GNR, well, no stories about vomiting to death. Yet. Edge: AC/DC and the good folks at the Jack Daniels distillery.
Category 3 - Dynamic frontman: Angus vs. Axl. A very hyperactive man dressed up like an Australian schoolboy (for maybe the first song of the show, before he strips down to his skivvies) or a sawed-off, bandana-wearing screacher from L.A. (though he did wear a kilt during shows for a while). Edge: Angus, of course. (The only man to have a steak named after him?)
Category 4 - The music: You can take a single AC/DC album (Back in Black, of course) and match it up against the entire Guns N' Roses collection and still not have to count the votes twice (unless we're voting here in Florida, in which case whatever band George W. prefers would win. And we hear he's a big Paradise City fan.) If you take into account AC/CD's pre-80s work (Highway to Hell, TNT, Problem Child, Whole Lotta Rosie, Let There Be Rock ... I can go on forever), then you have to wonder why Axl won't just throw in the towel. Oh that's right --- he's still "in the studio" (wink, wink), finishing up that latest album. The one he started recording when Elvis was still alive.
Tell me I'm wrong, fellow 80s fans. Better yet, go to Sean's blog and tell him I'm right.