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Anyone know how to fly a plane?

31

July

Airplane Today's the big travel day to Las Vegas for a group of brave (read: "foolish") Stuck in the 80s fans who are congregating (read: "drinking then passing out") in Sin City for the Morris Day and The Time show and the Regeneration Tour.

It's probably a bad time to confess that ever since seeing all the "Airport" disaster movies of the '70s, I'm a wee bit anxious about flying. But I figure as long as I'm not flying Trans Global airlines and the captain doesn't look like Jack Lemmon, Dean Martin or George Kennedy, I should be OK.

But then there's 1980's "Airplane," and my confidence drips away. What mystic force caused me to watch this movie 4 hours before heading to the airport is anyone's guess. But here are the lines from the movie that scare me most.

TOP 5 FLYER-UNFRIENDLY LINES FROM AIRPLANE:

5. "I've got to concentrate... concentrate... concentrate... Hello?... hello... hello... Echo... echo... echo... Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon... Manny Mota... Mota... Mota..."

4. "The life of everyone on board depends upon just one thing: finding someone back there who can not only fly this plane, but who didn't have fish for dinner."

3. "I know but this guy has no flying experience at all. He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air... yes, birds too."

2. "They bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash."

1. "There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"

Talk to you soon from Vegas!

[Last modified: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 2:37pm]

    

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