Avoid the Noid? Impossible because Domino's mascot is back
Here at Stuck in the '80s, I take timeout often to ponder what single phenomenon (or series of catastrophes) killed all the goodness that was the 1980s. John Hughes' retirement from Hollywood? Grunge music? Tiffany's mall appearances? The very being of Macaulay Culkin? They all played their role. But perhaps another culprit has escaped the blame until now.
Dominos Pizza's The Noid. And 25 years later, the little bastard is back.
"Being 25 is pretty cool," the Noid said in a statement released by Domino's. "I believe I can legally rent a car now. While I am old enough that some people consider me 'vintage' - I've still got skills, and proved it by stealing 10,080 free pizza gift cards from Domino's."
Frankly, I stopped reading after his theory about 25 being cool. He's wrong again, of course. Nobody turns cool until the age of 35. But like most twentysomethings, The Noid is deranged and egotistical.
For those, who through long year of therapy have flushed from their memories, Domino's slogan back in the late '80s was, "Avoid the Noid!" Their theory being that the Noid -- and not the stoner at the wheel -- was responsible for your pizza arriving late, cold or otherwise damaged.
To mark the Noid's birthday, Domino's has launched "The Noid's Super Pizza Shootout" on Facebook, a videogame that lets you compete for a free pizza gift card. One winner every 60 seconds -- or approximately the amount of time until the next Macaulay Culkin movie appears on cable. You have until Monday, Aug. 15, to avoid the Noid and score some free pie.