Best baseball flicks in the 80s? Say it ain't so
Major League Baseball's spring training is back in business here in Florida. That essentially means thousands of locals and tourists alike are getting their first sunburns of the season while quaffing down $6 beers and squealing "Jeeeeter! Jeeeeeter!" every time a certain Yankees infielder runs within 50 yards of the stands. (The sunburn and concession tab are far less painful.)
But if there's anything more obnoxious than transplanted Yankee fans, it's the people who insist that no decent baseball movies were made after 1973's Bang the Drum Slowly. The 80s, my pinstriped-wearing lemmings, are home to five of the most entertaining baseball movies ever put to film. Some more profound, others more comic. But never dull.
And so we give you a special Top 5 list today: Five favorite quotes from each of our five favorite baseball movies of the 80s. "And when you speak of me, speak well." ...
- "You put snot on the ball?"
- "I'm hung over, my knees are killin' me and if you're going to pull this sh-t at least you could've said you were from the Yankees."
- "JUST a bit outside."
- "Remember, fans, Tuesday is Die Hard Night. Free admission for anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won the pennant."
- "Yo, bartender, Jobu needs a refill."
- "How about this: Peace, love, dope! Now get the hell out of here!"
- "This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again."
- "This is my corn. You people are guests in my corn."
- "Hey rookie! You were good."
- "Hey, Dad. ... You wanna have a catch?"
- "I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball."
- "Why's he calling me meat? I'm the one driving a Porsche."
- "Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic."
- "The rose goes in the front, big guy."
- "I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."
- "I guess some mistakes you never stop paying for."
- "Fowler's killing worms, Pop."
- "You can't spell it, but it eats pretty good, don't it?"
- "Red, it took me sixteen years to get here. You play me, and I'll give ya the best I got."
- "Pick me out a winner Bobby."
- "Sports writers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your bar privileges."
- "Everybody's got their own way of letting off steam, Ring. It's what you do on the field that counts."
- "Shoeless Joe is ignorant; Hap Felsch is just dumb."
- "Say it ain't so, Joe. Say it ain't so."
- "Those fellas are all gone now."