Calling out Mr. Axl Rose
The Stuck in the 80s blog and podcast has been fortunate in the last few months to snag several cool 80s celebrity interviews: Adam Curry, Stan Ridgway, Patty Smyth and Rick Springfield. So when the news broke that Guns N' Roses was touring again and they planned a stop here in Tampa Bay at the St. Pete Times Forum, I immediately began to ponder the possibilities....
An interview with Axl Rose. Ahh, that's the flavor.
But I'm putting my money on this outcome: No way does Axl agree to meet with us. And I have my reasons (in list format, of course).
Five reasons Axl Rose wouldn't want to talk to Stuck in the 80s:
5. He doesn't need us. He's in the headlines plenty, albeit usually in some dark light. Anna Nicole Smith, Lindsey Lohan, Deborah Lafave, Kevin Federline ... they'd have to combine all their evil powers to reach Axl's level on his quietest day.
4. We're not his core audience anyway. Stuck in the 80s fans have distinctive tastes in music, preferring the pop and new wave that made the decade great. Not the whacked-out, West Coast whammy guitar rock that lead to the end of the 80s fun.
3. What album would he pimp during the interview? He's been working on "Chinese Democracy" since the days I feathered my hair back and wore navy blue corduroys. It's still nowhere close to being on store shelves. I guess I could ask questions about the rumors that he slept with Liza Minelli.
2. My bet? The show gets canceled anyway. Axl is a legendary no-show. In 2002, the band canceled a show in Vancouver at the last minute, sparking a riot. Their entire tour was later called off when Axl showed up late for a show in Philly.
1. In a fair, backstage pre-rockshow brawl, I'm thinking me and pop critic Sean Daly can easily take Axl and gang. Axl will be testy when he discovers I've gotten some mileage out of mocking him in on this blog. (Here and here and here.) But come fight night, they'd be hopped up on liquor and tiny cocktail sandwiches; Sean and I will be juiced on our usual preshow spread of lukewarm energy soda and sugar-injected Willy Wonka Runtz candy. No rope-a-dope needed for this one.
Come and get us, Axl. Oh and bring us a copy of that new CD if you can.