A Charlie Sheen Christmas: "Now I have a machine gun. Ho, ho, ho"
Remember the news a couple days ago about Charlie Sheen's arrest in Colorado on Christmas Day for a drunken fight with his wife? Turns out the real reason he's in trouble is because he allegedly used a weapon.
No, probably not a machine gun. And probably not the gun he used in Platoon either. I'm guessing it was a spork. Those suckers are dangerous. I gave myself a serious scratch with one while eating at Taco Bell last week. Almost drew blood.
(Update: It was a knife. Should I make the obligatory "bringing a knife to a gun fight like from Untouchables?)
Here's what the Associated Press says: "Authorities say actor Charlie Sheen is accused of using a weapon in an alleged case of domestic violence in Aspen. ... Police spokeswoman Stephanie Dasaro did not provide details on what kind of weapon Sheen is accused of using."
TOP 5 CHARLIE SHEEN QUOTES FROM PLATOON:
5. "Somebody once wrote: 'Hell is the impossibility of reason.' That's what this place feels like. Hell."
4. "The village, which had stood for maybe a thousand years, didn't know we were coming that day. If they had, they would've run."
3. "The proof is in the eyes, when you know you know."
2. "She's a f---ing human being, man."
1. "I think now, looking back, we did not fight the enemy; we fought ourselves. The enemy was in us."