The Star Wars fansites are all abuzz over a new story detailing toy ideas that were reportedly rejected by creator George Lucas. Are these for real? Does it really matter? They're hilarious. And if money were no object, I'd own them all.

See a full list at actionfigureinsider.com/ottertorials. But here are my favorites:

• Death Star basketball: "That's not a space station, it's a sports ball."
• Darth Vader talking magnetic chip clip: "I find your lack of freshness disturbing."
• Han Solo in carbonite popsicle mold: "He's no good to me melted."
• Bantha slippers: "And you thought they smelled bad on the outside."
• Cantina Pepsi dispenser: "A wretched hive of scum and carbonation."