Fast Times on TV? Fat chance
The cable channel American Movie Classics is playing "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" this afternoon. Normally, any showing of the movie is cause for celebration (and for the fake stomach flu, so that I can go home and watch).
But few things in life cause flu-like symptoms like watching a largely censored version of this 1982 classic on television. What would you miss? Plenty!
FOUR-LETTER WORDS THAT START WITH D: You miss Sean Penn's ultimate expletive to Mr. Hand. On regular TV, expect Spicoli to say something like "You doofus!" (I've also heard "dillweed") Not the same knock-down power.
NO PHOEBE: The infamous Phoebe Cates topless scene at the pool comes to mind next. (Rumor has it that video store owners say their old tapes of that scene have tracking errors on that scene -- where kids used to pause the scene for anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes.)
YOUNG LOVE: Speaking of sadly abbreviated time frames, there's also Mike Damone's 5- to 10-second scene with Stacy in the pool changing room. You'll be missing that today too.
My advice? Stay at work a little extra today. Use the overtime to go buy the special-edition DVD. Because if you're here, and I'm here, isn't this really our time?