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Five more truly awful videos



Egg_muffinThere's something perverse yet oddly satisfying about scouring the early days of MTV and looking for the worst music videos ever made. Like sneezing into your hand and afterward checking the color of the offensive phlegm. Or trying to make an overly intoxicated friend throw up by simply describing your favorite breakfast sandwiches from McDonalds.

And so we give you another group of some of the worst music videos of the 80s. (Click here to see the original batch of offenders.)


Rock Me Tonite, Billy Squier: I apologize for not including this is the original list, because it's truly horrific. Billy flops around like the love child of Mark Goodman and Paula Abdul. You'll want to hunt me down and shot me if you click on the view link. And that's OK by me. (view)

Why Can't I Be You, The Cure: Some people love it when Robert Smith dresses up in a big bear outfit or in black-face. Others just find it creepy. Even by Cure standards. After a few shots of Jagermeister, it's a great video. But after tonight's two caffeine-free Diet Cokes, not so much. (view)

TravoltaThe Warrior, Scandal: Remember "Staying Alive?" The sequel to Saturday Night Fever where John Travolta gets a starring role in a Broadway musical? A real suck-fest. If you want to see the four-minute version of it, featuring an Edward Scissorhands wannabe tearing up Patty Smyth's clothes, here's your chance. (view)

Obsession, Animotion: It's like Fetish Night at Caesar's Palace in Vegas. Or a Saturday Night Live sketch of Caligula, 80s style. This band played for free at my Grad Night 1985 at Disney World, and I still didn't go see them. (view)

Do You Wanna Touch Me, Joan Jett: What's not to like about a bikini-clad vixen spanking herself while an oiled-up guy flexes his pecs to the beat of a rock anthem? And that's just the first 30 seconds. (view)

[Publicity photos; click to enlarge at your own peril]

[Last modified: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 2:19pm]


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