Forget rock royalty - Give me the New Wave Hall of Fame
Does Duran Duran really want to be in the same zip code as Lynyrd Skynyrd? Do U2 and ZZ Top make good neighbors? And does Iggy Pop really need a chair next to Ozzy Osbourne? No, no and hell no. That's why I'm making a case today for a New Wave and Alternative Music Hall of Fame.
Monday marks the induction of the Class of 2006 into the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame. Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, Lynyrd Skynyrd and the Sex Pistols are the chosen honorees this year. Which of those doesn't seem to fit? (Well, Miles Davis for one. In the rock hall of fame?) But the answer I was looking for is The Sex Pistols, who admitted they wanted no part of the honor in a recent announcement. (Unrelated factoid: Did you know Duran Duran has been eligible for induction since 1996? So "Heart of Glass" yes and "Girls on Film" no?)
But surely our British punk rogues deserve all the honors and tidings worthy of a Caligula-style orgy? That's where my idea begins. Here's how I see it playing out:
Location: Probably London, right? Though if you had to pick a U.S. location, maybe Athens, Ga. (Though who would want to visit?) Definitely no place in Ohio.
Eligibility: Membership in the rock hall of fame certainly wouldn't disqualify you. In fact, we'll be stealing several of their members. As long as you made great music and influenced future New Wavers, you're near the top of the list. If you're more pop though (Madonna, Boy George), wait for your own hall of fame. (Key test: If you have more dancers on stage than musicians, you're pop. Please leave now.)
What the award looks like: I'm thinking of a bronze bust of a head that looks like Mike Score of Flock of Seagulls.
Inaugural class: The Velvet Underground, Talking Heads, The Sex Pistols, U2, Ramones. (Bands that barely miss the first list: REM, B-52s, Elvis Costello, Jonathan Richmond)
Who am I forgetting for the first and second classes?