Greatest girlfriends from 80s movies
Cracked Magazine is back, and while it's a fine publication, they need to leave the 80s topics to the real expert: That'd be me, Bobbo.
Check out their list of Seven Best 80s Movies Girlfriends: Ali (Karate Kid), Sloane (Ferris Bueller), Pamela (Teen Wolf), Holly Gennero (Die Hard), Ariel (Footloose), Jennifer (Back to the Future) and Andy (Goonies).
Whaaaa? I'll give you Jennifer (she leaves Marty the nice "I love you" note -- awwww) and Footloose's Ariel, because Ren basically had her crawling all over him. Gotta love the lack of sexual inhibition in the 80s. Sloane's the cutest but she wouldn't marry Ferris! And Holly Gennero? She nearly gets Bruce Willis killed! That's grounds for expulsion from the list.
Here's the real List of Best 80s Movies Girlfriends:
"Lisa" in Weird Science (Kelly LeBrock): The best woman science can create, and she doesn't take any guff from disapproving parents. Plus, she's about the only way Anthony Michael Hall could get lucky in the 80s. (Who am I kidding? I'm sure Farmer Ted did better than me and friends put together.)
"Karen" from Last American Virgin (Diane Franklin): She stays loyal to Rick, creating the saddest ending of any 80s movie when Gary drives off to James Ingram. That's life in the 80s, my friends. We were all one Ingram tune away from despair. (Sex in the 80s)
"Monique" from Better Off Dead (Diane Franklin): Fresh off of crushing Gary, she fixes John Cusack's Camaro and teaches him how to ski the K-12, while promising to teach him the "international language" afterward. That's why our girl Diane earns a double-billing. (Podcast)
"Julie" in Valley Girl (Deborah Foreman): OK, so she dumped Randy for Tommy when her friends went psycho on her, but queue the Modern English tune and all is well. Easily the hottest of all 80s girlfriends too. (Podcast)
"Lana" from Risky Business (Rebecca De Mornay): The world's sexiest hooker teaches Tom Cruise the lessons of life. Too bad it didn't stick. Delivers most titillating line of the 80s: "Are you ready for me ... Ralph?" (Podcast)
"Stacy" from Fast Times at Ridgemont High (Jennifer Jason Leigh): Ah, Stacy, Stacy, Stacy. First, she makes it with Ron (the "audio consultant" from the stereo store), then throws herself at Rat, and then jumps Damone in the pool house. OK, so not a perfect girlfriend, but where was she when I was in high school? (Podcast)
"Linda" from Fast Times at Ridgemont High (Phoebe Cates): She stays loyal to her older boyfriend for most of the movie, goes topless in a fantasy scene and doesn't rat out Judge Reinhold for doing what any guy would do in the same situation.
"Lisa" in All The Right Moves (Lea Thompson): How come Tom Cruise gets to lose his virginity in no fewer than three 80s movies (this one, Risky Business, Losin' It)? For the same reason he gets to act with women like Lea -- he's Tom Cruise. (At least he gets blown away in Taps. A little kharma.)
"Cathy" in Summer Lovers (Darryl Hannah - photo top): She travels to Greece with her boyfriend (Peter Gallagher); goes willingly to a nude beach; initiates bondage and wax play; isn't angry that he sleeps with a hot French girl; and then sleeps with the French girl (and Peter) for the rest of the summer. I think we have our grand prize winner.
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