Hear the lamentation of the '80s fans: Another 'Conan' movie
What is best in life? It's certainly not the Conan the Barbarian movie franchise, which peaked in 1982 with the first film starring that one former politician who's pushing his autobiography these days. But Hollywood slept on the wrong side of its brain again and is facing screenplay numbness so here comes The Legend of Conan.
"Universal Pictures has made a deal for The Legend Of Conan, an action film that will star Arnold Schwarzenegger in one of his signature roles as Robert E. Howard’s mythic barbarian," Deadline.com reports. "The deal brings Conan and Schwarzenegger back to Universal, which released the first film that launched Schwarzenegger’s movie career back in 1982. Universal has world rights on the film."
Okay, but what about the actual story? It's got one, right?
"The original ended with Arnold on the throne as a seasoned warrior, and this is the take of the film we will make," Fredrik Malmberg, CEO of Paradox Entertainment, which holds the rights to Conan, told Deadline. "It’s that Nordic Viking mythic guy who has played the role of king, warrior, soldier and mercenary, and who has bedded more women than anyone, nearing the last cycle of his life. He knows he’ll be going to Valhalla, and wants to go out with a good battle."
Whoa. Did he really say Valhalla? We hope he's referring to the mythical hall in Asgard, but knowing Hollywood, it's just as likely that he means the high school in east San Diego. (San Dimas football rules!)