Hear Sylvester Stallone sing in 'Rhinestone' on his 65th birthday
Sylvester Stallone, first of all ... Happy 65th birthday. Now, can we all all make a birthday wish? Never, EVER make another movie where you sing.
In a way, 1984's Rhinestone is considered a classic. By that, I mean it's on most critics' lists of the worst movies ever made.
Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times graciously gave it a one-star review, even saying kind things about the film at times.
The center part of the film -- the country "training" sessions -- could have been fun if they'd been written with a satiric edge. Unfortunately, they seem to have been written with a blunt instrument. Dolly explains that the way to "walk country" is to pretend you have jock itch. Stallone needs to have this concept explained to him," Ebert writes. "Meanwhile, of course, they fall in love, and have a sex scene so tame that Miss Piggy goes further with Kermit."
Stallone's made a dozen or more really fun movies in his career (my fave from the '80s remains Nighthawks), so I won't crucify him for this forgotten mistake. But when you turn 66, Sly, can we please have a discussion about Oscar and Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot?