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Heather Locklear getting divorce; hope restored for middle-aged geeks

3

February

Heather Locklear and rocker Richie Sambora are filing for divorce after 11 years of marriage, it was announced this week. And while that's sad news for the couple and their 8-year-old daughter, the legions of 80s meatheads out there who have lusted after Locklear since age 12 finally have hope again.

Objects that most men my age lusted after in the early 80s: a black Trans-Am, concert tickets to REO Speedwagon (for their Hi Infidelity tour, of course), navy blue courderoy pants from the Gap, and Heather Locklear. Sure, she turned up the heat on Melrose Place as the deliciously evil (ie. so hot) Amanda Woodward in the 80s. But she was the poster-woman of 80s television, co-starring in Dynasty and TJ Hooker and making guest appearances in EVERY defacto 80s series including Fantasy Island, Love Boat, Hotel, Eight in Enough, The Fall Guy and even CHiPs!

Oh Richie, Richie, Richie. What went wrong? You were living the dream. A co-founder of Bon Jovi (meaning no matter how bad your music gets, you'll see have millions of screaming fans) .... married to Heather Locklear .... and you still have all your hair (albeit still styled like you appearing in the sequel to The Wedding Singer). Now the rest of us are living on a prayer!

Meanwhile .... it seems our tongue-in-cheek blog item pairing Boy George with President George W. attracted a near record audience yesterday, some of which are probably the fine men and women of the intelligence gathering industry who aren't too happy that we compared the drug-using pasts of our two cultural icons. Can we now assume the Stuck in the 80s phones are bugged (with the full and patriotic support of the American public, of course)? Even though we loved "Rock the Casbah," we promise no upcoming podcasts about "al-Qaida in the 80s...."

[Last modified: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 2:16pm]

    

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