Hitch a ride with these remakes

19

January

Hitcher The remake of The Hitcher is now in theaters. It's a remake of the 1986 movie starring Rutger Hauer, Jennifer Jason Leigh and C. Thomas Howell. And it begs the question: Of all the 80s flicks to remake, why this one?

It's not the best thriller of the 80s. It's not the best movie by Hauer, Howell or Leigh. (Those would be Blade Runner, Soul Man and Fast Times at Ridgemont High). It wasn't a very original plot or story idea. Is Hollywood really that desperate?

If so, here's a half dozen 80s movies to remake:

Friday the 13th (1980): Great story, lousy special effects and cheesy acting. Hey, bring back Kevin Bacon for the movie. But this time, let him star as "Jason." [Click for podcast]

Last American Virgin (1982): This movie was nearly forgotten because it came out the same summer as Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Keep the great soundtrack and find out if Diane Franklin has a daughter who can take over her role. (Did you know this movie is actually a remake of a 1978 Israeli movie called Eskimo Limon?)

Repo Man (1984): This cult classic featuring Emilio Estevez, Harry Dean Stanton and a great punk rock soundtrack is ripe for a remake. (Both Estevez and Stanton -- who still look pretty much the same today -- could use the gig.)

All The Right Moves (1983): Craig T. Nelson developed his role as "Coach" in this high school football movie, which starred Tom Cruise, Chris Penn and Lea Thompson. Sadly, we lost Penn in 2006. And sadly, Cruise lost his sanity in 2006. Move the team from Pennsylvania to Florida and start over.

Class Reunion (1982): The first writing credits for a guy named John Hughes. Only D-list actors in this campy flick about a mental patient who terrorizes his high school's 10-year reunion. Notable line? "Hey, Walter, listen, you're making a big deal out of nothing. You're not unique you know. Everyone in class had sex with your sister." Jeesh, sign Hughes back up, let him take a whack at that dialog again and make his triumphant return to Hollywood's front lines.

Tron_1 Tron (1982): It can be improved ... we have the technology. Can you imagine how much better this movie would be today with computer animation and the infinite story lines associated with the Internet? Hollywood seems oblivious. To them I say: "End of line."

[Last modified: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 2:21pm]

    

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