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'I don't ... love you anymore:' Name the worst break-up scenes of the '80s

23

June

Gary_and_karen Poor Gary's demise in 1982's The Last American Virgin might be the most heart-disintegrating moment of the decade. But keep in mind that he never really was dating that dark evil known as Karen. She always belonged to Rick, who never deserved her in the first place. That's life, it seems.

And so we tread again on blood-soaked ground, forcing ourselves to remember scenes that probably cut far too close to the bone for some of us. Yep, it's time to name the worst break-up scenes of the '80s.

Unlike the list earlier this week, these don't have to be at the end of a movie. In fact, one of my favorites comes right at the start. (Bear with me. This is all meant for therapeutic purposes.)

Betteroffdead BETTER OFF DEAD (1985):
Lane Meyer (John Cusack) gets the heave-ho in the first 10 minutes from Beth, who practically runs him over to be with the captain of the ski team, the sinisterly named Roy Stalin. So Lane tries to off himself -- repeatedly -- before the love of Monique (Diane Franklin -- who also played Karen in Virgin) saves him. Everybody needs a Monique.

FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH (1982): Brad decides that he's a "single, successful guy" and needs to break up with Lisa (played by Amanda Wyss, who also played Beth in Better Off Dead. See where I'm going here?) Of course, Lisa breaks up with him first when he's already down in the dumps after being fired by All-American Burger. Nice timing, babe.

AboutLastNight8 ABOUT LAST NIGHT (1986): Rob Lowe dumps Demi Moore on New Year's Eve. Sounds cold, right? It gets worse. Watch him deliver the most painful words in the human language in slow, torturous fashion -- "I don't ... love you anymore" -- and you actually see Demi's heart rip in half. [Watch it. The breakup clip starts at the 4:50 mark] According to reports, that line by Lowe was actually improvised by him during the filming of the scene because Demi was having trouble crying. The line reduced her to real tears.

VALLEY GIRL (1983): Three breakup scenes actually. First, Julie (the lovely Deborah Foreman) dumps Tommy at the mall because being with him "is like totally boring, you know." (Gulp!) Then Julie dumps Randy (the great Nicolas Cage in his first starring role), once again delivering the atom bomb blast of "I don't love you anymore." At least Randy gets the last word in ("Like f--- you for sure, like totally!"), which by the way was totally ad-libbed. And finally, Julie dumps Tommy again at the junior prom and throws his bracelet out the limo's window. And we're supposed to feel all better?

Sayanything SAY ANYTHING (1989): Perhaps the reigning champion of break-up scenes, but that's for you to decide. Lloyd Dobler (Cusack again. No wonder he's such a quiet guy) gets dumped by Diane Court (Ione Skye) ... in his own car ("It's his castle, man!"). Thus prompting one of writer/director Cameron Crowe's best lines ever: "I gave her my heart. She gave me a pen."

At least you got a pen, Lloyd.

Okay, that's all I can bear to write. Name your own favorite break-up scenes of the '80s.

[Last modified: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 2:47pm]

    

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