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'I may be dumb, fellas, but I ain't stupid'

12

July

Sheen Charlie Sheen is one cool customer. (No Heidi Fleiss pun intended ... but it works.) He's one of a dwindling group of hot actors from the '80s who still can cash regular paychecks as an actor.

But there's one role nobody can ever picture him as: faithful husband. Well, at least one person can. Sheen has just announced he's engaged to Sheenbrooke 29-year-old, a real estate investor/spiring actress Brooke Mueller. Never heard of her? Guess you never saw "Witchouse" or "USA High." (I'm really looking forward to her performance in 2007's "Strictly Sexual" though.)

This will be marriage No. 3 for the 41-year-old Sheenster, who previously was married to Donna Peele and Denise Richards. He's also dated a porn star or two, including Ginger Lynn and Heather Hunter.

Am I hurting my chance for a future interview by bringing those last names up? It's out of respect -- really. The Stuck in the 80s nation loves you, Charlie.

Top 5 Charlie Sheen movies from the '80s:

Sheenmajorleague 5. Major League (1989): "You put snot on the ball?"
4. Red Dawn (1984): "You're getting pretty low on feelings, aren't you?"
3. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986): "You wear too much eye makeup. My sister wears too much. People think she's a whore."
2. Eight Men Out (1988): "I may be dumb, fellas, but I ain't stupid."
1. Wall Street (1987): "Blue Horse Shoe loves Anacot Steel"

It's hard to pick just five. That means I gotta leave out Platoon, Young Guns, Lucas. (Well, there's no Sheenferris way "Young Guns" or "Lucas" makes the top 5 list.) But I'm always amazed that every Charlie Sheen line in "Ferris Bueller" is memorable -- even though Sheen is simply credited as a "boy in police station." My favorite exchange:

Sheen: "There's someone you should talk to."
Jeannie: "If you say Ferris Bueller, you lose a testicle."
Sheen: "Oh, you know him?"

[Last modified: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 2:23pm]

    

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