Indiana Jones sequel ... your worst nightmare
The Internet reviews of the new Indiana Jones movie -- "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" -- are confirming what many of us feared all along: Extending the life of a trilogy that began and ended in the '80s was a very bad idea.
One review posted on Aintitcool.com called it "the Indiana movie that you were dreading."
Some more criticisms from the reviewer known only as ShogunMaster:
- Harrison Ford "has a few lines that work and a million that don't. He just never shows signs of worry or distress."
- Karen Allen ("Marion Ravenwood") "was actually really great when she was first introduced. ... But after that five minutes, she was sporting a big muggy smile as they continued on their adventure and she was never scared, worried, or nervous, even with the stupid moments that she tries to help."
- This episode's villain, Cate Blanchett, "wasn't overly horrible, but her characters' abilities of psychic prowess were never successfully used and she whenever she caught Indy she was never really intimidating or bad."
Just when you think ShogunMaster is just being cranky, he wraps it up with a telling comparison to the Star Wars prequels: "For those of you that feel that the new Star Wars movies robbed your childhood, expect some molestations from Uncles' George and Steven." Ouch. That's worse than taking a lash of Indy's bull whip across your Holy Grail.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE: Our podcast tribute to "Raiders of the Lost Ark," "Temple of Doom" and "The Last Crusade" is now online. Click here to listen. Or click here to download all our shows for free via iTunes.