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Keep telling yourself you don't love these movies: Worst 80 movies of the 80s (Nos. 11-20)



Neil_end Readers of the blog were beginning to wonder if there were truly 20 more movies worst than the 60 we've spotlighted so far. Yes. Yes, there are.

Today's biggest loser: Maybe me, since I used to own the Xanadu and Jazz Singer soundtracks on vinyl. But I'm not ashamed: Gotta love ELO and Neil Diamond. I consider "Sweet Caroline" the ultimate karaoke song (followed closely by  ELO's "Evil Woman.")

(Click here to see lists for worst sequels and worst movies 21-30, 31-40, 41-50, 51-60, 61-70, 71-80)

20. Under the Cherry Moon (1986): Prince, Jerome Benton. Tagline: none. One critic said: "It's bad. But the real question is—is it so bad that it's good?"

19. Who's That Girl (1987): Madonna, Griffin Dunne. Tagline: "A funny thing happened on the way to the bus station." One critic said: "Let's call it an experimental work. What kind of experiment is it? The kind conducted in that obscure branch of science where they try to mate monkeys with shellfish."

18. Red Sonja (1985): Arnold Schwarzenegger, Brigitte Nielsen. Tagline: "A woman and a warrior that became a legend." One critic said: "One of those sword and sandals movies where you can only enjoy it if you appreciate the aesthetics of ineptness."

17. Heaven's Gate (1980): Kris Kristofferson, Christopher Walken. Tagline: "What one loves about life are the things that fade." One critic said: "It is the most scandalous cinematic waste I have ever seen, and remember, I've seen Paint Your Wagon."

16. Can't Stop the Music (1980): Steve Guttenberg, the Village People. Tagline: "The Movie Musical Event of the 80s." One critic said: "You think you're brave because you've seen movies which have won the Golden Raspberry Award for worst film? Feh. I just sat through the film which inspired the Golden Raspberry Awards, after their founder saw it on a double bill with Xanadu."

15. The Jazz Singer (1980): Neil Diamond, Laurence Olivier. Tagline: "His story will make you cry. His music will make you sing." One critic said: "Hokey and contrived and air-brushed, just like Neil Diamond's music."

14. Maximum Overdrive (1986): Emilio Estevez, Pat Hingle. Tagline: "Evil's wheels." One critic said: "The Andretti family's worst nightmare. I imagine they fled the theater in terror, prophesizing this as a sign of the apocalypse."

13. Leonard Part 6 (1987): Bill Cosby, Tom Courtenay. Tagline: "Action! Adventure! Aggravation!" One critic said: "You know things are bad when you can't get a laugh with a wiener."

Xanadu 12. Xanadu (1980): Olivia Newton-John, Gene Kelly. Tagline: "Where time stops and the magic never ends." One critic said: "A mushy and limp musical fantasy, so insubstantial it keeps evaporating before our eyes.

11. Howard the Duck (1986): Lea Thompson, Jeffrey Jones. Tagline: "A new breed of hero." One critic said: "Too scary for children and too silly for adults."

[Last modified: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 2:19pm]


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