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Latest Stallone action flick is definitely expendable

12

August

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When it comes to loving the cheese-ball '80s action flicks, there's nobody in Stuck in the '80s Nation that's as eager to watch as Chris Stainton, who also fronts Rubix Cubed, the official cover band of SIT80s. Chris caught a free screening of the new movie The Expendables and provides this guest review. Go for it, Chris.

Tuesday night, my wife Micky and I were fortunate enough to grab a free sneak peek at the new action movie, The Expendables. I love Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis action films. With witty one-liners, predictable plots, and just enough violence, the vast majority of these genre films at least began in our beloved decade.

Maybe it was the theater, but the sound was bad and the film quality was awfully grainy. Given those disadvantages, here's what I thought of the flick. 

THE PLOT: A team of mercenaries is hired to head to a fictional Latin American island country and kill the corrupt general. Seems straight-forward and '80s action enough for my taste.


THE ACTION: Lots of Action. Lots of fist fights, guns, explosions, grenades, and computer generated blood. I really dislike computer generated blood spatter. It never looks quite the same, and I'd prefer to see a blood packet explode with the actors being instantly rewarded with a shower of red syrup. There was some old school blood FX, but honestly it looked like a bad movie on Syfy. I understand why the new school of filmmakers are doing with up close and shaky camera angles in a fist fight.  Used sparingly, It puts the audience into the fight. The problem with this film, was it wasn't done sparingly, and I frequently had to avert my eyes so I wouldn't experience the "Blair Witch Syndrome" nausea associated with big screen movements. Odds are the fight scenes will look great on Youtube. The choreography in those fights, however, was excellent.

'80s NOSTALGIA (spoiler alert): Oh Yes. Ivan Drago (Lundgren) and Rocky Balboa (Stallone), friends that have a protracted brawl, was great. Probably my favorite part of the film. Screen time for the three billed '80s heavyweights (Stallone, Schwarzenegger & Willis)? Yes, for about 90 seconds they are together in the film, and Bruce returns later for another 30 seconds. One liners and insults hurled, although with the bad sound, it sounded like Kenny from South Park, and I am sure I lost most of them, which totally blows, since that is what makes the movie more human. There were cameos - Willis, Schwarzenegger, Micky Rourke, but that's kinda it. Rocky and Drago carried the '80s portion of the film.

In closing, SIT80s nation, if you're looking for some '80s flashback, it has some, but I'd wait for Netflix and save your hard earned money for the next Vegas Weekend.

[Last modified: Thursday, August 12, 2010 1:47pm]

    

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