More over-exposed stars of the 80s
Here are the nominees. You tell us who wins or who we missed:
Harrison Ford: Does anyone really go to movies to see him anymore? We're not sure we'd pay money to even rent his latest flick, Firewall, when it hits the video stores. He's a testy celebrity at best, a lousy interview, and hasn't made a decent movie in a decade. And he's clearly in a delusional state if he thinks he can play Indiana Jones again at age 63.
Michael Jackson: He's gone, folks. Done making music. Nowadays, he just visits Dubai dressed as a woman and pretends to drop babies from hotel balconies. Yet even news of his latest rumored project -- putting music to some of the prayers of the Pope John Paul II -- had the urgency normally reserved for catastrophic earthquakes. Let the King of Pop rest in peace.
Michelle Pfeiffer: I'm thinking of a number. Six. Yep, the number of decent movies starring Michelle Pfeiffer. And you have to go back to 1989's Fabulous Baker Boys for the last one. (That's 20 movies ago.)
Madonna: Losing her looks and her singing voice. Current status? Married to overrated British director and boring everyone to tears with her love of Kabbalah.
Tom Cruise: An obvious choice, since he seems to be irritating EVERY body these days. If he's not pushing Scientology on people, he's lighting into Matt Lauer or jumping over Oprah's couch. If Mission Impossible 3 is only half as bad as War of the Worlds, we'll all join your "church." Because that'll be a miracle in itself.