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'No Strings Attached' sex in '80s flicks? Yes please

27

January

Kim Cattrall in Porky'sNo Strings Attached, the Ashton Kutcher/Natalie Portman (I keep wanting to type "Natalie Merchant," which would be far more interesting) comedy about carefree sex-turned-to-love, is the No. 1 movie in America. In the '80s, a movie about no-strings-attached sex would be ... well, like every other movie.

You can't seriously tell me you don't crave for those simpler times, when a future Sex in the City starlet howling with lust in a pile of sweaty jockstraps was the very zenith of young-adult entertainment. (Still waiting to get my grade back on my senior thesis: "Porn, Puberty and Pestilence: An Appreciation of Porky's.)

Turns out it's nearly impossible to find movies without no-strings-attached sex during our favorite decade. Add your favorites below. Here are five that come to mind.

PORKY'S (1982): Kim Cattrall as "Lassie." It's still the only scene that gets me laughing so hard, I pass out. If only she could have carried that same joie de vivre into Mannequin. Of course Wendy (Kaki Hunter) gives Pee Wee the night of his life too, but eventually becomes his girlfriend in the sequel that nobody paid money to see.

THE MAN WHO LOVED WOMEN (1983): Okay, I'll admit I only watched this movie for its compelling title. Plus, it has Burt Reynolds in it. Anyway he's a sculptor whose strongest talent lies in his ability to have microscopically short relationships with women. Hint: Turn it off as soon as he goes to see the sexy psychiatrist played by Julie Andrews.

CADDYSHACK (1980): Lacey Underall (the great Cindy Morgan) was the poster-child for NSA sex in the '80s. In this movie alone, she plows through both Chevy Chase and Michael O'Keefe. (And maybe Dr. Beeper too and the Bishop too). Only Maggie (Sarah Holcomb) takes the high road -- and look where that got her.

ABOUT LAST NIGHT (1986): Sure, Rob Lowe and Demi Moore may or may not end up together. But combine all their side outings in this movie, and it's roughly equivalent to the groupie action of the L.A Lakers on a East Coast roadtrip. Plus, the movie is based on David Mamet's play, appropriately titled "Sexual Perversity in Chicago."

REVENGE OF THE NERDS (1984): Even Poindexter scores in this movie, thanks to his sexy bedroom talk. "Wait! Would you rather live in the ascendancy of a civilization or during its decline?"

Okay, what "no strings attached" movies from the '80s are we missing out on?

[Last modified: Thursday, January 27, 2011 9:15am]

    

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