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Octopussy, Leonard Part 6, Big Top Pee Wee: Dumbest movie names of the '80s

17

July

Karate_kid Excuse the rant, but ... Yes, The Karate Kid was a goofball, I-give-up name for a movie in the '80s that actually turned out to be pretty iconic. But it just steams my bologna boat to see that the new remake of Karate Kid will be called ...

The Kung Fu Kid. (Pfffffft!)

The Jackie Chan (instead of Pat Morita) and Jaden "I'm Will's kid" Smith ('stead of Ralph Macchio) movie will also be set in China. No problems there. But I'm telling you right now: If there's no Cobra Kai dogo in the remake, and no "Sweep the leg" taunting, I'm going to go all wax-on, wax-off on Hollywood.

Still, studio heads have a well-deserved rep for botching movie titles. Especially in the '80s. I need your help with this list, per usual, so let's get started: Name the worst or dumbest movie titles of the '80s. (No, you can't do porn names. Well, you can, but just e-mail those to me separately.)

Here are five that come to mind immediately:

Octopussy OCTOPUSSY (1983): I still can't say the name of this underrated James Bond flick with a straight face. My guess: Some movie exec won major coin by winning a bet that a movie could be greenlit and released under this titillating title. (The title -- like most Bond titles -- came from a comes from the collection of short stories by Ian Fleming called, yep, Octopussy and The Living Daylights.)

BIG TOP PEE WEE (1988): What was worse: The movie itself or its title? The irony:  The  movie title is funnier since Paul Reubens was arrested for exposing himself in an adult theater in nearby Sarasota, Fla., giving new meaning to the circus phrase "pitching a tent."

Heartbeeps HEARTBEEPS (1981): I only include this because in a fit of what must only be described as complete dymensia, I actually TiVo'd this Andy Kaufman nightmare last week. When I awoke from a Funyun and Wild Turkey coma, it was immediately erased.

LEONARD PART 6 (1987): Have fun with your non-'80s friends and put Leonard Parts 1 through 5 on your wish list next Christmas.

FRANKENWEENIE (1984): A short film by Tim Burton, who is possibly the only director on the planet who could talk actors like Shelley Duvall and Daniel Stern into appearing in a movie with this title.

Okay, fire away. What other movie titles need to be on the list of worst movie names of the '80s?

[Last modified: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 2:48pm]

    

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