Only the most pure '80s menu item can save McDonalds
Right now, you're thinking: So what infamous McDonalds item was actually introduced in the 1980s? The beefsteak sandwich? Yes, in 1980, but it's long been discontinued. The McFeast? You've probably never heard of this 1980s burger with mayo unless you lived in Sweden. Chicken McNuggets? Yes, that's from the '80s but it's more famous than infamous. (And any good McDonalds cook will tell you they're tastier when wrapped in cheese before being deep fried.)
No, you know I'm talking the McRib. Oh, my heart is pounding already. Mainly from terror, because I worked at McDonalds in the '80s and I remember how ridiculously long it took to cook a frozen, boneless pork patty on the griddle -- so we just dropped them in the fry vat instead. Voila! Instant McRib. Oh, you didn't mean to order one? That's okay, we'll drop it in a vat of BBQ sauce for hours at a time. No sweat.
So here's the deal: It turns out the McRib is the only thing standing between McDonalds and financial ruin. Or heart disease ruin. I get them confused. I'll just quote the actual news source:
"McDonald’s said it expects its annual promotion of the McRib in the U.S., coming later this year, will help it return to growth for the fourth quarter as a whole," the Wall Street Journal reports. "Speaking to the WSJ last year, one McRib devotee likened the 'ghostly quality' of the sandwich to 'the girl who you are in love with who has always been a tease to you,' although a less enthusiastic customer described it as a 'conglomeration of pork waste.' "
Introduced in 1982, the McRib survived only three years on the McDonalds menu. And yet, since 2006, it resurfaces for a short period of time each year, usually right before our annual physicals and blood tests. In case you're curious, a McRib is 450 calories, with 24 grams of fat and 890 mg of sodium. In other words, order it with 10 glasses of water.