Plunging down to the Land of the Lost
As Hollywood continues to recycle old TV shows into new movies over and over again, there's one TV show they've been missing out on that's sacred to anyone who grew up in the 80s. Let's see if these three names give it away: Marshall, Will and Holly.
Yes, I'm talking about Land of the Lost. And even though it was a late 70s show on Saturday mornings, I dare any of the early 80s gang out there to not sing along with me: "Marshall, Will and Holly, on a routine expedition, met the greatest earthquake ever known. High on the rapids, it struck their tiny raft. And plunged them down a thousand feet below."
The Sid and Marty Krofft classic ran from 1974 to 1976. Featuring the three lost human adventurers, a monkey boy named Chaka and lizard-like hissing henchmen called Sleestak, this has got to be ripe pickings for idea-starved movie makers, right?
According to the official Land of the Lost website (no, I'm not kidding), Universal currently holds the movie rights to the series and writers are busy putting together a script, with actor Will Ferrell set to star as Rick Marshall. (Fans of Kevin Smith movies will smirk, remembering that Ferrell played the character Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly in "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back"). Adam McKay is attached to the project right now as director. (He also directed Ferrell in "Talladega Nights" and "Anchorman.")
As always, Stuck in the 80s has its own casting suggestions:
Rick Marshall (the dad): Go ahead and let Ferrell play him, on the condition that he has to be the straight guy this time around. No more Ricky Bobby or Ron Burgundy please. Think more along the lines of Frank the Tank from Old School. If Ferrell falls through, pick up David Hasselhoff.
Will Marshall (the son): How about Screech from Saved By The Bell? Dustin Diamond is apparently taking the Traci Lords path from porn to B-movies. But if you think I've picked the most obnoxious person to star in this movie, you're not even close yet. Because up next ...
Holly Marshall (the daughter): I'm going with Nicole Richie here. Why? Because she'll make Dustin Diamond's acting feel like Dustin Hoffman's. And because obviously, she needs the lunch money.
Chaka (monkey boy): Because very little makeup would be involved, I'm going with Clay Aiken. (Also in consideration: Leonardo DiCaprio and the little red-headed kid who plays Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter movies.)
Sleestak: Did you know that former Pistons great Bill Laimbeer played one of the Sleestak on the show? No wonder they gave me nightmares. I say let Bill have his old job back.