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Police in concert? De do do don't

10

July

Nomorepolice

The Police reunion tour makes it way to Tampa on July 11, but don't look for me to be sitting in the stands. My concert buddy, Times pop critic Sean Daly, will have to go it alone to the sold-out show at the St. Pete Times Forum.

I realize they're an '80s institution and I'm the flag-bearer for the decade (at least in the blog world). But no matter how much I tried to like their music back then -- or today -- I just don't get the attraction. Write it off as just my odd personal taste in music if you will. After all, I'm probably the only person who has Thomas Dolby, Stan Ridgway and Oingo Boingo on my list of acts I'd see ANY time they decide to play again.

So go read Sean Daly's oddly erotic ode to the band on his blog, and then consider my points here. If you've already decided to skip your car payment for this month to afford the ticket, say hi to Sean -- he'll be one of 20,000 people sadly trying to sing along with Roxanne like Eddie Murphy in 48 Hours. (Shudder.) Me? I'd rather save my money to buy Guitar Hero's new '80s edition.

Top 5 reasons to skip The Police on tour:

5. They're not a compelling live act. Sometimes I wonder if they're each playing different songs at the same time. (They call that jazz, right?) I don't know what magic goes on in the studio to fill things out, but during a show, they come across sounding like a trio playing a cruise ship lounge.

4. Sting, Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland hate each other. That's a lot of bad mojo. If it were possible for each band members to set up on opposite ends of the St. Pete Times Forum, they'd do it.

3. There are a lot of great 80s bands reunions this summer -- and this ain't one of them. I'd rather save my money for Genesis, The Jesus and Mary Chain or Crowded House. I'd even use my limited funds to spend for group counseling for Van Halen, just on the remote chance they'll get back together for a week or two.

2. I can't think of any Police song I really want to hear again. The corporate radio stations saturate the airwaves with their drivel. If I hear "Wrapped Around Your Finger" one my time on my way to work, I'm going to wrap my car around a sign post.

1. I just plain don't like them. The three of them remind me of the cool kids back in high school -- the ones with the cool clothes, hot girlfriends and great parties -- the ones we weren't invited to. Sorry, but if I wasn't cool enough for The Police back in the 80s, I'm not cool enough for them now.

[Last modified: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 2:23pm]

    

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