For a present, maybe a good bail bondsman?
Michael has been arrested so often over the last two years, TV executives are considering naming a new show after him: "Law and Order: The Whammer Behind the Slammer."
Michael could even rework some of his song titles for use as possible theme songs. I'm thinking maybe "Careless Whisper" can instead be "Careless Misdemeanor."
I'm never gonna drink again
Guilty plea, no more driving
Though it's easy to make bail
I know that I'm a fool.