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Read the first 12 pages of 'Ferris Bueller' sequel script

10

June

ferris_bueller_2.jpgThere aren't many bigger fans of John Hughes and Ferris Bueller's Day Off than Rick Rapier. The Arizona-based screenwriter has spent the last few years trying to sell his 106-page, completed script for a sequel to the 1986 Matthew Broderick movie, entitled Ferris Bueller 2: Another Day Off.

I've read Rapier's entire script -- got a full copy right here at my desk -- and I absolutely love it.  The new story puts Ferris in present day life, where he's made a small fortune with his personal motivation program (thanks to his right-hand man, Cameron Frye.) And while Rapier says he has seen interest in the project come and go, lately things seem to be heating up.

"There is definite interest in my Ferris sequel," Rapier tells me. "Big name production companies that have first-look production deals with Paramount are reading the script. Your readers would know either their names or have seen movies they've produced, some of them classics."

Sounds good so far.

"We have high hopes that one or more will take an interest, and that Paramount brass will go for it on their advice," Rapier says.

As an added bonus, Rapier has provided an edited version (hiding a few spoilers) of the first 12 pages of his script and has given Stuck in the '80s permission to publish it. I will caution that it's only a small taste of the full project; I personally think it grows better as the story continues forward. And yes, the script includes all the major and most of the minor characters from the first movie. I've converted Rapier's copy into a form more palatable for an online format too.

So here it is: 12 pages of Ferris Bueller 2: Another Day Off:

BLACK SCREEN WITH “TV” INSET AS TITLES ROLL:

REGIS PHILBIN (V.O.)
Kelly, did you read the latest about Ferris Bueller?

KELLY RIPA (V.O.)
No, Rege, do tell!

(AUDIENCE LAUGHS V.O.)
It’s not as if his Fortieth Birthday Bash isn’t, like, everywhere in the news...

REGIS PHILBIN (V.O.)
Alright, Miss Celebrity Report, tell us all about it?

KELLY RIPA (V.O.)
Hey, no, Rege -- Go ahead. You’re The Man -- after Ferris, of course.

REGIS PHILBIN (V.O.)
You’re too good to me, you know that? (beat)
It says here in The Post that the viewership for the pay-per-view is expected to exceed 30 million homes. It’s a record!

KELLY RIPA (V.O.)
Think of the bar bill for that shindig! Have you subscribed yet?

REGIS PHILBIN (V.O.)
Subscribed? Are you kidding? I’m Regis Philbin -- I’ll be there in person, baby!

KELLY RIPA (V.O.)
Oh, well, so will me and Mark. I just didn’t want you to feel slighted.

REGIS PHILBIN (V.O.)
Gelman --!

EXT. SAN FRANCISCO INT’L AIRPORT - MORNING
An amazing Boeing Business Jet taxis toward the runway, it’s tail bears a black logo made up of a beret with “FB” reversed out, and a silhouetted pair of Raybans below it.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR (V.O.)
Thousands have experienced the Ferris Bueller lifestyle course firsthand, investing up to $2,000 to “Take the Day Off” with the man himself, Ferris Bueller...

INT. FERRIS BUELLER’S PERSONAL AIRLINER - CONTINUOUS A FLAT SCREEN TV RUNNING AN INFOMERCIAL:

A VIDEO B-ROLL of FERRIS BUELLER in trademark sweater vest, white T-shirt, and white bucks as he mounts the stage a la Tony Robbins before an adoring audience of SEMINAR ATTENDEES all wearing trademarked “FB” berets.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR
...But now you can enjoy this funfilled, energizing, and life-changing day off any time you like as you learn to embrace the Bueller Lifestyle at your convenience on CD, DVD, or iPod download!

ELECTRONIC CLICK and the flat screen goes to BLACK.
Hemmed in by an Italian-leather flight chair is FERRIS BUELLER. Forty today, virtually unchanged, he’s Peter Pan in Armani. But he seems none too happy at the moment, almost anxious, like a caged bird. He WHISTLES quietly to himself; the tune “A MAN WITHOUT LOVE,” the international hit of Engelbert Humperdinck.

CAMERON (O.S.)
Well? What do you think?
(a beat)
Ferris, I’m talking to you.

CAMERON FRYE, prematurely salt and peppered at 40, is the epitome of tightly wound executives as he stands beside the flat screen, stabbing towards Ferris with a hi-tech remote. This sets Ferris’ teeth on edge.

FERRIS
What do you think, Ms. Dubois?

Beside Ferris sits a beautiful but buttoned-down African- American professional of 35, DEVON DUBOIS. Without looking away from her work, she shuttles legal papers from a folder for Ferris to sign.

DEVON
Sales in our test markets have been off the charts and the seminar
bookings have --

CAMERON
The bookings, yes! The response has been absolutely fantastic! I gotta hand it to you --

Cameron steps forward abruptly. She puzzles over why he would cut her off so. Ferris seems dubious.

FERRIS
That’s not me, Cam -- That’s a cartoon of me. And I didn’t want more business -- I wanted more time.

CAMERON
(without missing a beat)
-- I thought for sure this would dilute the brand, Ferris, and the seminar side would start to dry up --

FERRIS
Smells like a but. Miss Dubois, you smell a but?

Cameron huffs up with the insult.

DEVON
No, Mr. Bueller.

Now Ferris shoots her a look.

FERRIS
“Mister”? Do I actually look like a Mister? Why can’t you call me Ferris like everyone else? People on the street are more familiar. Were you like this in the interview?

DEVON
You didn’t interview me --

FERRIS
I didn’t?

CAMERON
I did.

FERRIS
That explains a lot.

CAMERON
(back on track)
Well, cartoon or not, we’ve actually had to start booking larger venues... (sucks through his teeth with forced regret) ... and more seminar dates, too. So, you better buck up.

He holds that toothy frown awaiting a reaction as Ferris SIGHS then looks into the CAMERA.

FERRIS
Nice digs, huh? Golden handcuffs. Whoever said the one with the most toys wins A) Didn’t have toys or B) Had the time to play with them. If my life looks like a bed of roses, well, Cameron is the thorn. Without me to balance him out, when he hit the hallowed halls of Northwestern, they echoed with the unmistakable sound of his butt puckering. And at Harvard it only got harder to get the stains out.
Not that I actually saw the evidence, mind you. I was at U of I majoring in Communication. The five year plan. Go Illini.
(a beat)
Don’t get me wrong. I love Cameron. But the last few years have been like working with the mutant love child of his father and Ed Rooney. His divorce only made things worse. Yes, his first girlfriend -- as predicted -- a daddy’s girl dominatrix. Back to business.

CAMERON
Devon, have you updated Mister Bueller’s Blackberry with the latest itinerary?

DEVON
Yes, Mr. Frye.

She tries to slip the PDA into Ferris’ coat pocket like a mother giving a little boy his lunch money. Ferris guards his pocket, snatches the PDA from her.

FERRIS
I’m quite capable, thank you.

DEVON
You seem a little... on edge, Mr. Bueller. Are you all right?

As Devon shuttles more papers in front of him, Ferris starts to shake his head, gradually more insistent.

CAMERON
What is that? Palsy? What?

FERRIS
Nope. Won’t sign another thing.

CAMERON
You will.

FERRIS
I won’t.

CAMERON
You will.

FERRIS
I won’t -- What’re you my dad now?

Cameron’s eyes narrow.
Ferris turns to Devon.

FERRIS
Maybe you could order me a copy of my course, Miss Dubois...?

Very serious, she takes note of his direction in her PDA.

FERRIS
(to Cameron)
... I think I’d like to take a day off with me.

Cameron offers a smirk.

FERRIS
... And could you put a rush on it? Cartoon Ferris almost has me convinced he knows what he’s talking about.

EXT. LAX AIRPORT - MORNING
Ferris’ plane taxis toward the runway.

CAMERON (O.S.)
What a load of crap, Ferris! You have everything in life you’ve ever wanted. Ev. Ree. Thing!

INT. FERRIS’ PERSONAL AIRLINER - CONTINUOUS
Ferris crosses his arms over what looks to be a mid-life paunch at his midsection.

FERRIS
Emphasis on “thing.” Life, my rigid friend, is not a thing.

As he takes his seat, Cameron notices Ferris’ gut, seems taken aback.

CAMERON
Have you stopped working out?
(dismisses his own question)
Look, I develop the in-home course, and what --?

FERRIS
(apoplectic)
You!?
(looks to the CAMERA then back to Cameron)
You developed? It was my idea! So I could have a minute to myself!

CAMERON
And this is the thanks I get?
(a beat)
I’m really hurt, Ferris.

Ferris has heard this refrain many times before. And it shows.

FERRIS
(to CAMERA)
Don’t even think of feeling sorry for him. And a word to the wise: Nepotism is a four-letter word.

INT. FERRIS’ PERSONAL AIRLINER - CONTINUOUS
Cameron looks out the window, lips tight as an old woman’s change purse.

CAMERON
Let’s run through the day for Mister Spontaneous Lifestyle.

Devon scrolls through her PDA.

DEVON
Film Entertainment Tonight segment...

FERRIS
(spiteful)
Check. Before I even had my morning cup of chai --

DEVON
(to Ferris)
On to Chicago for lunch with Mr. Carpenter at McCormick Place, finalize the details, do a run-through of tonight’s event. Then it’s off to New York in time to tape Letterman. Then return immediately to Chicago for the festivities.

Ferris shakes his head melodramatically. The whole scenario seems to press in on him as he sinks deeper into his seat.

FERRIS
Why do I suddenly feel like I can’t breathe?

CAMERON
(serious)
What? What’s the matter?

FERRIS
Like you care.

CAMERON
Grow up, Ferris.

Cameron shifts gears as his anger returns, looks to the burly bodyguards as they read their magazines: One is white and has a bodybuilder mag, the other a black matching bookend, reads Martha Stewart Living.

CAMERON
Dirk and Dick, you better be on your game, too --

DIRK
Yessir!

DICK
Yessir!

CAMERON
When we hit Chicago, keep an eye out for Ed Rooney --
(to Ferris)
Remember him?

FERRIS
Stalkers are hard to forget.

CAMERON
Well, his parole was granted early this week, of all weeks. Yesterday he was seen near the Lake Forest estate. The gatehouse called the police but he drove off before they arrived.

Cameron looks to Ferris, but he is rising, walks past him.

CAMERON
Are you catching all this? Where are you going?

Ferris seems to swoon under the weight of the responsibility, but Cameron eyes Ferris’ paunch, reaches to pat it.

CAMERON
You have stopped working out!

Instantly Ferris swats Cameron’s hand away.

FERRIS
That’s a good way to lose a hand, Mister Frye.

Ferris walks past Dirk and Dick.
CAMERON
We’re taking off!

FERRIS
I don’t feel well, in case you hadn’t noticed.

DEVON
I noticed, Mr. Bueller.

FERRIS
Thank you, Ms. Dubois.

Cameron turns to see Ferris approaching the rest room door opposite the EMERGENCY EXIT.

CAMERON
There isn’t time for your shenanigans!

Ferris turns with a pale scowl.

FERRIS
Do you even remember what a shenanigan is?

CAMERON
As CEO of this enterprise, it’s my job to make sure our stockholders enjoy a good return on investment. And to do that, it takes at least one grown-up, Ferris.

FERRIS
Grow up any more and you’ll be six feet under.

CAMERON
Yeah? Well, act any more childish and, and, and you won’t need a rest room. You’ll need a diaper.

FERRIS
Touché, Bruté.

ENGINES WHINE as -- EXT. SAN FRANCISCO INT’L AIRPORT - CONTINUOUS
Ferris’ plane accelerates, lifts off from the runway.
INT. FERRIS’ PERSONAL AIRLINER - CONTINUOUS
Ferris braces himself between the rest room and the EMERGENCY EXIT.

Cameron grows more agitated.

CAMERON
Ferris! Sit down! It’s FAA regulation!

FERRIS
The benefit of owning one’s own plane is that one can refrain from following
FAA regulations.

EXT. SKY ABOVE THE AIRPORT - CONTINUOUS
The Ferris Bueller corporate jet rises into the air, its wheels retracting.
INT. FERRIS’ PASSENGER AIRLINE - CONTINUOUS
Cameron gestures angrily for Dick and Dirk to do something.
Dirk points to his fastened seat belt.

DIRK
(surprisingly demure)
But we’re taking off, Mr. Frye.

Cameron turns to Ferris.

CAMERON
If this is about the informercial, I’m sorry, awright!? How’d I know it would result in a 200 percent increase in seminar bookings?

FERRIS
Market research?

CAMERON
A happy accident.

FERRIS
Another accident like that and they’ll be comparing me to Howard Hughes...

CAMERON
Would that be so bad?

FERRIS
You wouldn’t be the one in a sterile room with nails so long you can’t wipe your ass!

CAMERON
Well, it’s too late!

FERRIS
No, it’s never too late.
(turns to CAMERA)
That’s Rule Number 7 from “Life Moves
Pretty Fast,” disk one.

CAMERON
Why do you put me through this crap, Ferris?

FERRIS
(to Cameron)
Rule number 9: “Find life’s little pleasures wherever you can.” I think that’s on disc two.

DEVON
(still jotting in her PDA)
Disc 3.

CAMERON
Well, you can forget pleasure: today’s your birthday.

Ferris leans to gaze out the EMERGENCY EXIT window.

CAMERON
Ferris, sit down! The last thing we need is you in the hospital -- Millions are riding on tonight’s
simulcast! Carpenter would own us --

FERRIS
Is that all you care about? Money?

CAMERON
Sit down. I’m done arguing with you.

Cameron turns his back to Ferris. Ferris doesn’t budge.

FERRIS
Do the voice.

CAMERON
(knowing)
What?

FERRIS
Do it. Do Peterson and I’ll be a good boy all day long. Do it. (imitates Cam as “Mr.
Peterson”) "Rooney! Who the hell do you think
you’re talking to!?"

Cameron is adamant. No voice.

CAMERON
We don’t have time for your stupid crap, Ferris!

Ferris looks to the CAMERA like Can you believe him?

FERRIS
(to Cameron)
Do it!

It’s a stand off.
FERRIS
You leave me no choice... It’s on your head.

CAMERON
What is?

FERRIS
My stupid crap.

Ferris puts his hands on the EMERGENCY EXIT latch. Seeing Ferris, Dirk and Dick are now on alert. Devon sees too and her eyes flash wide with concern. She implores Cameron, but he just shakes his head dismissively with a smirk of faux self-confidence.

EXT. THE SKIES ABOVE THE AIRPORT - CONTINUOUS
The Boeing Business Jet is now several thousand feet above the city.

INT. BUELLER CORPORATE JET - CONTINUOUS
Ferris defiantly starts to lift the EXIT DOOR handle. In an instant, Dirk and Dick are out of their seats.

DICK
Don’t do it!

FERRIS
Not another step!

As Devon GASPS, Cameron turns to see what Ferris is up to.

CAMERON
You wouldn’t dare.

FERRIS
Watch me.

Dirk and Dick crowd Cameron as Devon watches from her seat, aghast.

FERRIS
(pathetic)
I wanted to live, but you wouldn’t let me.

DEVON
Mr. Bueller! No!

Dubious, Cameron holds up his hand to calm her.

FERRIS
I’m getting off this roller-coaster!

CAMERON
(calling Ferris bluff)
At what, 10,000 feet? That first step’s a doozy.

Ferris flashes a devilish, defiant scowl -- Pulls the EXIT door handle -- INSTANTLY gets sucked from the plane! Air rushes past a horrified Cameron, the Bodyguards, and Devon as they fight the swirling currents.

Here’s where Cameron loses it.

CAMERON
NO!!!

As Cameron slouches into Ferris’ chair, he rubs the armrests like they were Ferris himself, as Devon comforts him.

CAMERON
I killed Ferris Bueller.

[Last modified: Friday, June 10, 2011 3:33pm]

    

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