'Red Dawn' remake shelved ... Does this mean the Commies finally won?

11

June

Red_dawn The somewhat-anticipated remake of Red Dawn has been delayed, possibly indefinitely, thanks to the financial woes of MGM. We'll have to wait a little longer, maybe forever, to stand up and yell "Wolverines!" again.

"Red Dawn isn't coming Nov. 24, as the conservative blogs have all promised. In fact, no one knows when the movie will ever be released," says the L.A. Times. "Although it sounds like yet another liberal Hollywood conspiracy, the movie is suffering from a far bigger problem: It was made by MGM, and MGM has run out of money."

Little did I know that Red Dawn had also become a political hot potato lately too. One blogger called it "a brazenly patriotic smack-down of Obama-era socialism. Centering around an Afghanistan war vet. Starring Tom Cruise's son. Featuring music by Toby Keith." (In reality, little of that appears to be true.) Some of the trouble is because the villains are Chinese is this installment. Whatever.

I suspect the truth is far more simple: It was never a great idea to begin with. And with '80s remakes taking at the box office and/or with critics, a remake of the 1984 cult classic was too risky of a venture for a studio that doesn't even have enough money to make another James Bond movie.

Hollywood will figure it out eventually. Me? "I'm just gonna stay here and listen to the wind a while, okay?"

TOP 5 UNDER-APPRECIATED LINES FROM RED DAWN:

5. "Two toughest kids on the block, I guess. Sooner or later, they're gonna fight."

4. "If you didn't love anybody, you wouldn't be here right now."

3. "C'mon! We're all going to die, die standing up!"

2. "Dogface! I show you how Soviet dies!"

1. "It's kind of strange, isn't it? How the mountains pay us no attention at all. You laugh or you cry... The wind just keeps on blowing."

[Last modified: Thursday, June 17, 2010 11:40am]

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