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Sean Penn: the full hot orator



PennIt's ironic in a sad sorta way that Madonna's birthday is one day before her that of her ex-hubby Sean Penn.

Yes, "Spicoli" turns 46 today. And all things considered, you have to figure that his DIVORCE from Madonna (they would have been married 21 years now) was the smartest move in his career. According to an article on, Penn has no pleasant memories of the union.

"It was a miserable marriage," he told the website last year. "I don't recall having a single conversation in four years of marriage."

Madonna, on the other hand, is said to not regret a minute of it. Surely, they both regret co-starring in 1985's Shanghai Surprise. We all knew Penn was going to one day be an Oscar-winning actor by that stage of his career. But that film -- easily one of the worst of the 80s -- was the first sign that Madonna's acting career was best left to her lip-syncing at concerts. (Though we hear her new crucifixion scene is quite touching.)

(How I managed to turn a Sean Penn item into another Madonna bash-fest is a mystery. Perhaps it's therapy time for me. Sorry, Sean. If it's any consolation, the following list was hard to write because, unlike your ex, you did so much great work in your career.)

Top 5 Sean Penn Movies of the 80s:

Colors5. Colors
(1988): "You don't wanna get l--d, man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you gotta talk to 'em."

4. Taps (1981): "The problem is that this a----le just shot the town!"

3. Casualties of War (1989): "Yay though I walk through the valley of evil, I will fear no death. Cuz I'm the meanest #@&! in the valley."

Badboys2. Bad Boys
(1983): "I killed your little brother, but he's dead because you didn't stick up for him."

Fasttimes1. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
(1982): "So what Jefferson was saying was 'Hey! You know, we left this England place because it was bogus. So if we don't get some cool rules ourselves, pronto, we'll just be bogus too.' Yeah?" (29th funniest movie of the 80s)

Honorable Mention: Falcon and the Snowman, At Close Range, Racing with the Moon.

[AP photo, publicity photos; click to enjoy]

[Last modified: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 2:19pm]


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