Sending in my RSVP early
So my 80s hero Tom Cruise and his gal-pal Katie Holmes have set their marriage date for Nov. 18. How embarrassing ... I won't be able to attend! Turns out that I'm juggling several invitations for the same day. I'm sending them a nice electric fondue pot though. (I originally picked out a book on Kama Sutra, but I hate when gifts go unused.)
10 Reasons I'll Be Missing Tom Cruise's Wedding:
10. The Wiggles: I have seats to the 1:30 show in Tampa.
9. Celebrating 21st anniversary of Joe Theismann breaking his leg on national TV.
8. Sleepover at John Travolta's house. (Kelly's out of town.)
7. Trying to sell DVD copies of Vanilla Sky and Mission Impossible 2 on eBay.
6. Attending Calvin & Hobbes Festival. The strip debuted on this day in 1985.
5. Auditing class on practical psychiatry with pal Matt Lauer.
4. Waiting for "Personality Test" results back from new church in town.
3. Have 10:30 seats to Zamora the Torture King at Las Vegas' Bourbon Street Hotel & Casino.
2. Appointment to give foot massage to Nicole Kidman.
1. Just lost touch with Tom since he wouldn't sign and return my mini Ampipe Bulldog helmet from "All The Right Moves."
Why, Tom? Why?!?