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State of Shock: The worst duets of the 80s

17

June

Duets A ten-margarita hangover. A kindergarten chorus singing "Ice, Ice Baby." A new record by Madonna. When it comes to inflicting pain, all of the above are serious contenders. But those are nothing compared with the unique torture qualities of today's list.

After much soul-searching, advanced calculus and far too many hours spent watching sadistic music collaborations on YouTube, we finally have our official list of the Worst Duets of the 1980s.

Special thanks to all the Stuck in the 80s fans out there who wrote in with suggestions. For the purposes of the list, remakes were eligible -- in fact, those were some of the worst. We all know other painful decisions had to be made, but that's what the list is all about. Enjoy. (Or rather, don't enjoy. Just beware.)

15 MOST PAINFUL DUETS OF THE 1980s:

15. YAH MO BE THERE (1983) - Michael McDonald and James Ingram: [video]

14. UP WHERE WE BELONG (1982) - Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes: [video]

13. THE ARMS OF ORION (1989) - Prince and Sheena Easton: [listen]

12. EBONY AND IVORY (1982) - Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney: [video]

11. TO ALL THE GIRLS I'VE LOVED BEFORE (1984) - Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson: [video]

10. ISLANDS IN THE STREAM (1983) - Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton: [listen]

9. GUILTY (1980) - Barbra Streisand and Barry Gibb: [listen]

8. THE GIRL IS MINE (1982) - Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson:  [video]

7. STATE OF SHOCK (1984-5) - Mick Jagger and Michael Jackson/Tina Turner:  [video]

6. DANCING IN THE STREETS (1985) - David Bowie and Mick Jagger:  [video]

5. DON'T BOX ME IN (1983) - Stan Ridgeway and Stewart Copeland: [video]

4. 'TIL I LOVED YOU (1988) - Don Johnson and Barbra Streisand: [listen]

3. WITH YOU, I'M BORN AGAIN (1980) - Billy Preston and Syreeta: [listen]

2. WHEN THE RAIN BEGINS TO FALL (1984) - Jermaine Jackson and Pia Zadora: [video]

1. BODY NEXT TO BODY (1987) - Falco and Brigitte Nielson: [video] Please, don't click the video click if young children are within earshot. So very, very bad -- it's beyond words. So painful, it makes you want to find every person involved, hunt them down and T.P their houses. Such a crime against humanity that I'm throwing away my "Rocky 4" and "Red Sonja" DVDs. So epically trashy, it must have been conceived in a genetics lab.

OK, which tunes did we miss? Which ones don't deserve to be here?

[Last modified: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 2:35pm]

    

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