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Tauntaun sleeping bag: And you thought they smelled bad on the outside



Why do these products only come out when '80s geeks reach adulthood? Young Jedis and stormtroopers alike, I give you: Official Star Wars Tauntaun sleeping bags from

"In the sub-zero wasteland of the planet Hoth, only the strong survive... and of course those lucky Jedi protected by the thick skin of a Tauntaun," reads the official advertisement. "This high-quality sleeping bag looks just like a Tauntaun, complete with saddle, internal intestines and plush lightsaber zipper pull."

Internal intestines? Oh no, your kids won't have nightmares AT ALL. ("Daddy, daddy. I just dreamed I was suffocated by small intestines." ... "Oh, don't worry, kiddo. It could be worse. You could have just made out with her sister before escaping certain execution on the Death Star. Nighty-night.")

Sleepingbag Just consider the official slogan of the Tauntaun sleeping bag: "Slumber in the Belly of the Beast." Oh, it gets so much worse. Read on.

"Now when your kids tell you their favorite Star Wars movie is Attack of the Clones you can nestle the wee-ones snug in simulated Tauntaun fur while regaling them with the amazing tale of Empire Strikes Back," the ad reads. "Use the plush lightsaber zipper pull on the Tauntaun sleeping bag to illustrate how Han Solo saved Luke Skywalker from certain death in the freezing climate of Hoth by slitting open the belly of a dead Tauntaun and placing Luke inside the stinking (but warm) carcass."

The sleeping bag -- "great for playing pretend 'Save Luke from the Wampa' games" -- sells for $99.99 at ThinkGeek. ... Or does it?

Turns out the Tauntaun sleeping bag was a prank by ThinkGeek. Yeah, the same gang who punked us April Fool's Day products (I love the Betamax to HD-DVD Converter) fooled the world with the sleeping bag. Ironically though, due to demand for the sleeping bag, ThinkGeek is trying to get the actual product made now. 

"We are definitely trying to make it in to an actual item to be sold ?on our site," ThinkGeek's Shane Peterman told the LA Times. "Right now, we're aiming to have it available ?for the holidays, or at the latest, the 30th anniversary of The Empire ?Strikes Back next spring. We're still working with Lucas to get approval for a final design."

Thank the Maker!

(Thanks to SIT80s "Dubai correspondent" Beth for tipping us off.)

[Last modified: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 2:52pm]


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