That's right ... Iceman ... I am dangerous
My coworkers, on the other hand, are ready to go "Cougar" on me and turn in their wings. (Which is fine, because that gives me my dream shot -- Miramar!) I'll pulled no less than a "4-g negative dive" today at the office, bringing up memorable lines more lines than Iceman waxes that flattop of his. (God bless, Val Kilmer.)
I know what you're thinking: How can I irritate my friends and coworkers in similar fashion? I'm here to help.
TOP 10 TOP GUN LINES TO RECITE TO ANNOY COWORKERS:
10. Swilling down Starbucks on the way in from the parking lot: "I feel the need ... the need for speed." (Or, if you're already caffeinated enough, "Time to kick the tires and light the fires!")
9. When coming in the office door: "Good morning, gentlemen, the temperature is 110 degrees."
7. When seeing your friend in the restroom: "Hey Goose, you big stud!" (Or, if you're feeling daring, "Great balls of fire!")
6. After that three-martini lunch to nobody in particular: "I flew with your old man. VF-51, the Oriskany. You're a lot like he was. Only better... and worse."
5. When passing off an assignment to a subordinate: "If you screw up just this much, you'll be flying a cargo plane full of rubber dogs--t out of Hong Kong!"
3. What to tell your wingman at Happy Hour after switching to guns: "Do not fire until fired upon."
2. What you tell yourself when your ATM won't cough up more cash: "Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash."
1. And whenever you get the chance: "Take me to bed or lose me forever."