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That's right ... Iceman ... I am dangerous

14

March

Top_gun "Top Gun" is on TV these days more than the year it first buzzed the tower at theaters. I consider this movie a "target-rich environment" for quoting at nonsensical times during my workday.

My coworkers, on the other hand, are ready to go "Cougar" on me and turn in their wings. (Which is fine, because that gives me my dream shot -- Miramar!) I'll pulled no less than a "4-g negative dive" today at the office, bringing up memorable lines more lines than Iceman waxes that flattop of his. (God bless, Val Kilmer.)

I know what you're thinking: How can I irritate my friends and coworkers in similar fashion? I'm here to help.

TOP 10 TOP GUN LINES TO RECITE TO ANNOY COWORKERS:

10. Swilling down Starbucks on the way in from the parking lot: "I feel the need ... the need for speed." (Or, if you're already caffeinated enough, "Time to kick the tires and light the fires!")

9. When coming in the office door: "Good morning, gentlemen, the temperature is 110 degrees."

Goose_2 8. When your boss asks you to do something: "That's a negative, Ghost rider, the pattern is full."

7. When seeing your friend in the restroom: "Hey Goose, you big stud!" (Or, if you're feeling daring, "Great balls of fire!")

6. After that three-martini lunch to nobody in particular: "I flew with your old man. VF-51, the Oriskany. You're a lot like he was. Only better... and worse."

5. When passing off an assignment to a subordinate: "If you screw up just this much, you'll be flying a cargo plane full of rubber dogs--t out of Hong Kong!"

Topgunviper 4. On spotting targets at Happy Hour after work: "Too close for missiles, I'm switching to guns."

3. What to tell your wingman at Happy Hour after switching to guns: "Do not fire until fired upon."

2. What you tell yourself when your ATM won't cough up more cash: "Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash."

1. And whenever you get the chance: "Take me to bed or lose me forever."

[Last modified: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 2:31pm]

    

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