Did you know today is Talk Like A Pirate Day? That's okay if you didn't send a Hallmark card. What is important is that you celebrate it properly, possibly with Captain Morgan's rum, and most definitely with a great pirate movie from the '80s. There are actually plenty to choose from. But when I say "great," I really mean "barely tolerable."

Seriously though, if you've never seen Nate and Hayes, you need to find a copy. Written by John Hughes, it's pretty fantastic.

TOP 5 PIRATE MOVIES OF THE '80s:

5 THE PIRATE MOVIE (1982): Kristy McNichol, Christopher Atkins. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to deflower you!" [Check out 'Pumping and Blowing']

4. THE GOONIES (1985): Sean Astin, Josh Brolin. "Goonies never say die!" [Trailer]

3. THE ICE PIRATES (1984): Robert Urich, Mary Crosby. "I hope no one minds but I have no intention of facing this sober." [Trailer]

2. THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987): Cary Elwes, Mandy Patinkin. "No one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Westley." [The "battle of wits"]

1. NATE AND HAYES (1983): Tommy Lee Jones, Michael O'Keefe. "Ya can't trust women - even when they're dead!"