Tom, you're not funny
Attention, Planet Earth. Tom Cruise finally has a new baby girl. (No, not the one he's engaged to. A newborn.) Now we can all get back to our normal, boring lives without minute-to-minute reports of Scientology birthing practices, daily ultrasound updates and the nutritious value of eating the baby's placenta.
Uh, yeah, Cruise thought it'd be funny to joke to GQ magazine that he'd like to eat his baby's placenta. "I'm gonna eat the placenta," he's quoted as saying during an interview. "I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm gonna eat the cord and the placenta right there."
Cruise later explained he was kidding in an interview with ABC's Diane Sawyer, but when the majority of the world thinks you're a nut-job, it's bad to have an awkward sense of humor.
Tom and Katie Holmes' new daughter, Suri (meaning 'princess' or 'red rose'), was born Tuesday afternoon and weighed 7 pounds and 7 ounces. No other details, including whether Katie obeyed the silent birthing practices of Scientology, were made available. (Does anybody really want to hear more anyway?)