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Valley Girl ... the musical? Like totally gross

18

July

Valley_girl "Valley Girl," the 1983 classic that made a star out of Nicolas Cage and turned the music of Modern English into an 80s cliche, is now set to be remade ... as a musical.

Entertainment Weekly reports that MGM is developing the idea, with plans to keep the same storyline and songs. The new flick would be produced by Sean Bailey, who's also working on a "Tron" sequel. (What? You mean the computer world has evolved since 1982? My TI-99/4A and 1200-baud modem beg to disagree!)

Of course, "Valley Girl" isn't the only '80s classic getting the musical remake. "Footloose - The Musical" is planned for a 2010 release with "High School Musical's" Zac Efron slated to take over the role of "Ren," made famous by Kevin Bacon.

Still, Valley Girl? If it must be done, here are some suggestions:

  • Have Nic Cage and Deborah Foreman play the roles of "Julie's" parents. I can totally picture Nic running the health food store in the Valley.
  • Re-introduce the lovely E.G. Daily, but give her the cougar role of "Stacie's mom." (But this time, she lands "Skip.")
  • Let the L.A. rockers The Plimsouls reunite to play again in Randy's favorite Hollywood bar, powering out "Million Miles Away" and "Oldest Story in the World." That'd be worth the ticket price alone.
  • For the roles of "Randy" and "Julie," do the unthinkable: Pick two unknowns to play the parts -- just like director Martha Coolidge did 25 years ago. That would be like tripendicular, ya know?

[Last modified: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 2:36pm]

    

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