'Wanna go, pretty boy?'
TODAY's RETRO-REVIEW: The 1986 hockey flick "Youngblood," starring Rob Lowe and Patrick Swayze.
THE PLOT: A promising, young hockey player (Lowe) is pressured by his teammates, opponents and family to show that he can fight as well as he skates -- if he wants to make it to the big time. In the process, he befriends the team captain (Swayze) and falls in love with the daughter (Cynthia Gibb) of the team's surly head coach (Ed Lauter).
SOUNDS FAMILIAR: It should sound familiar -- it's the same plot of just about any teen sports movie. Think "Karate Kid" meets "Rocky" meets "Slap Shot."
MAYBE YOU REMEMBER: Former NHL player Eric Nesterenko (Toronto Maple Leafs, Chicago Blackhawks) played the part of Lowe's father. Steve Thomas and Peter Zezel are other NHLers appearing in the film. Cynthia Gibb, who played Lowe's girlfriend, would do several other movies in the 80s, including "Salvador," "Modern Girls" and "Stardust Memories."
SURELY YOU CAN'T FORGET: Keanu Reeves as the goalie with a dubious Quebec accent. (Is there any accent Reeves can master other the SoCal surfer dialect?) Still, rumor has it that Reeves was a very good goalie as a youth. He and Swayze would team up again in "Point Break."
ONE NASTY REVIEW: "If Rob Lowe had to learn to play hockey, was it too much to ask Peter Markle, the writer-director, to write an original screenplay?" -- Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times.
WHY WE LOVE IT ANYWAY: Famed critic Roger Ebert actually gave the movie a decent review, but detested the two scenes for which which the movie is probably best remembered by 80s fans: Lowe being seduced by his mature, female landlord ("Ahhh, tea with Miss McGill"), and Lowe wandering the hallways of the sports arena wearing nothing by a jockstrap. Throw in some great fight scenes with Thunderbay player "Carl Racki" and some gratuitous nudity and there's your classic '80s flick.
TOP 5 LINES FROM YOUNGBLOOD:
5. "Hey, go hump your Saint Bernard, scum-nuts."
4. "Fast legs, slow fists."
3. "Where else could I get beaten up every day, treated like shit by prima donna Canadians, get my nuts shaved? "
2. "You can learn to punch in the barn, but you gotta learn to survive on the ice."
1. "Thank God there is a sport for middle-sized white boys."