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We are Hollywood execs, so pity us

12

August

Meatballs_tripper Why is it such bad karma talking about old movies beloved in our youth? Because you never know when the knuckleheads in Hollywood will mistake nostalgia for new profit potential and plot another remake.

And so here we go again: "Meatballs," the 1979 summer camp classic that launched Bill Murray's film career, is set for TWO remakes. Lionsgate Films just threw its hat into the ring, handing off its remake to writers Sean Anders and John Morris ("Never Been Thawed"), according to Cinematical.com.

Strangely enough, Cinematical writer Scott Weinberg doesn't share the love of "Meatballs."

"Aside from young master Murray's inspired aloofness, the flick's a fairly forgettable affair. ... It's not like Meatballs is on the same level as a Caddyshack or even a Stripes," Weinberg writes. "Plus, who wants to share a title with movies like Meatballs Part 2, Meatballs 3: Summer Job or Corey Feldman's Meatballs 4?"

Oh sure, the sequels suck. But the original? It's sacred to '80s fans, most of whom first encountered the movie on video at just the right time in their childhoods. Hire Bill Murray to take over Harvey Atkin's role of "Morty" and maybe consider Vince Vaughn for "Tripper," and the North Star C.I.T.'s can live again.

Sorry, but that's inspired to me.

TOP 5 MEMORABLE LINES FROM MEATBALLS:

5. "Is that a bra you're wearing, or are you expecting an assassination attempt?"

4. "You must be the short depressed kid we ordered."

3. "Mmmmm. Look at all those steaming wieners."

2. "Attention. Here's an update on tonight's dinner. It was veal. I repeat, veal. The winner of tonight's mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed 'some kind of beef.' "

1. "We are the C.I.T.s so pity us. The kids are brats; the food is hideous. We're gonna smoke and drink and fool around. We're nookie-bound!... We are the North Star C.I.T.s!"

[Last modified: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 2:37pm]

    

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