What is your damage, Hollywood? 'Heathers' returning as a TV show?!?
There's something addictive about the 1988 dark comedy Heathers. First, it was on the fast track to for a big screen remake -- possibly as a musical. And then suddenly Hollywood washed its hands of it, proving once again you can't believe everything Winona Ryder says.
Now, word out of Los Angeles is that Heathers could be turned into a TV series. Variety.com reports that the film "will be adapted for TV by scribe Mark Rizzo, with an assist from Sex and the City alum Jenny Bicks. Sony Pictures TV, where Bicks is based, will produce, along with Lakeshore Entertainment, which holds the rights to Heathers."
STOP RIGHT THERE! Heathers has no business going on TV ... unless it's pay-cable. As a series on HBO or Showtime, this could be a genius idea. Half the charm of the original movie was the language, very little of which can be reprinted here. (Let's just say the line about the chainsaw is awfully kinky.)
Alas, no word if "Heathers: The TV Show" would be network or cable.
"Rizzo is still kicking around ideas on how to update Heathers 20 years after the film became a favorite among the underground set," Variety reports. "But the characters from the movie are all expected to be there -- Veronica Sawyer (played in the movie by Ryder), J.D. (Christian Slater) and the Heathers."
Here's an idea: Get Ryder and Slater to play Veronica's parents. ("Will someone tell me why I smoke these damn things?" ... "Because you're an idiot." ... "Oh yeah, that's it.")