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Worst sports movies of the 80s

4

February

American_anthem Why can't Hollywood get it right when it comes to sports movies?

Sure, the 80s had some classics (Bull Durham, The Natural), but it had some unforgivable nightmares as well. So as the glow of another football season begins to fade and we're left to contemplate the black hole of lesser sports until next fall, it's time to pick...

TOP 10 WORST SPORTS MOVIES OF THE 80s:

10. RAD
(1986): It couldn't be the 80s without a BMX movie. Talia Shire probably wishes IMDB.com didn't exist for this single reason.

9. GLEAMING THE CUBE (1989): A skateboarding movie! With Christian Slater! And that dude from Scarface! (And to think we're only at No. 9!)

Sluggers_wife_2 8. THE SLUGGER'S WIFE (1985): Rebecca De Mornay is truly awful (as a singer and actress) in this flick. Michael O'Keefe looks as much like an Atlanta Brave as I look like a porn star. (Well, maybe Ron Jeremy.)

7. JOHNNY BE GOOD (1988): Paul Gleason is great. Anthony Michael Hall and Uma Thurman are unbearable. And Robert Downey Jr. is, as usual, psychotic.

6. OVER THE TOP (1987): Please don't make me say arm wrestling is a real sport. But I think this Stallone pic washes away the goodness of at least one Rocky edition.

5. JOCKS (1987): Anyone remember this Perry Lang/Richard Roundtree star vehicle about a college tennis team? (Put your hands down, please.)

4. CADDYSHACK 2 (1988): Great theme song by Kenny Loggins ("Nobody's Fool") and then ... poof. By the end, you want to kill Jackie Mason and Dan Aykroyd -- not the gopher.

Sixpack 3. SIX PACK (1982): What's harder to conceive: Kenny Rogers as a race-car driver or Buck Roger's Erin Gray as his adoring fan? (Of course, both are trumped by the acting debut of Anthony Michael Hall.)

2. STROKER ACE (1983): I can only image that Hollywood was so happy with the box office return of "Six Pack" that they green-lit this NASCAR disaster, starring Burt Reynolds, Loni Anderson and ... wait for it ... Jim Nabors! (Not to mention the superb skills of Parker Stevenson.)

1. AMERICAN ANTHEM (1986): Mitch Gaylord and Janet Jones star in a completely unwatchable movie that basically takes the story line of "Purple Rain" and applies it to gymnastics. What else can you say about a movie whose best review comes from a website called Hollywood Bitchslap.

Which movies did I forget?

[Last modified: Wednesday, June 9, 2010 2:29pm]

    

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