Florida fireballs? No, just another 'Night of the Comet'
TODAY's RETRO REVIEW: Reports of "Florida fireballs" last night on the east coast of my state made me think that we've all just forgotten the '80s classic flick Night of the Comet. The 1984 sci-fi film starred Catherine Mary Stewart, Kelli Maroney and Robert Beltran.
THE PLOT: A comet -- or a fireball -- streaks across space just missing the Earth. But revelers exposed to the comet's trail are turned to dust, leaving two Valley Girls to fight off other more evil survivors.
MAYBE YOU REMEMBER: Michael Bowen, who starred as Tommy in Valley Girl, has a short role here as Larry. No other Val dude can touch him! But the comet zombies can.
SURELY YOU CAN'T FORGET: The film was voted No. 10 in Bloody Disgusting's Top 10 Doomsday Horror Films in 2009.
WHAT CRITICS SAID: "Like any good, self-respecting B-movie, 'Night of the Comet' ... couldn't care less about dinosaurs or humanity at large." - New York Times
WHY WE STILL LOVE IT: It's everything we love about the '80s: Cheesy, unrealistic but importantly: Just plain guilty fun.
TOP 5 MEMORABLE LINES FROM NIGHT OF THE COMET:
5. "If bachlorette number one isn't out here in half a tick I'm gonna ice bachlorette number two, got it?"
4. "You were born with an a--hole, Doris, you don't need Chuck."
3. "You try calling someone. Not just your pep squad. Anyone. Nobody's home!"
2. "You're not gonna blame me because the phone went dead. I'm not the phone company. Nobody's the phone company anymore!"
1. "Daddy would have gotten us Uzis."